Discipline How To Blog

I received the following question from a reader:

HELP! My almost 10 yr. old daughter has been getting worse and worse with her blatant disrespect towards me. I know that she continues to say and do the things she does, because I don’t know how to handle it. In the past hour these are the things she has said to me…1. You’re just so stupid! 2. Your face is ugly! 3. I hate you! 4. Stupid! 5. You’re the dumbest person ever! What do I do? Do I resort to physically trying to force vinegar in her mouth (as some have suggested)? I usually try to just tell her that it is wrong for her to talk to me like that, and then walk away. But it is only getting worse.  I also have two boys, one is 7 and one is 4, and they are starting to model her language. I often feel extremely “stepped on” and “deflated,” especially by my 10 yr old, because this has been going on for a long time, and no matter what we do, it just gets worse. There are times that it hurts my heart so badly that I feel like I know what it’s like to be emotionally abused on a daily basis.

Many of us have felt this way!  Don’t get discouraged, instead you need to set some rules for your children and breaking these rules some with consequences.

A few years ago, both my older and middle children were becoming a handful.  I had specific rules in my mind, but I did not communicate them well to my children.  I didn’t write them down and the consequences were always random and did not exist.  This was NOT working.  Then I was invited to a seminar at the local elementary school.  The program was called Smart Discipline by Dr. Larry Koenig.  This system changed the way that I disciplined my children.

This system teaches you, as a parent, to talk to your children about expectations, establish rules and formulate consequences.  The key to the program is follow through.  If you are willing to take a stand to diminish bad behavior, this system works!

In a nutshell, the Smart Discipline program uses a simple chart system.  The program suggests, and I have found this to be true, that you need to choose one or two behaviors to focus on at a time.  Trying to solve every problem at once may not work.  The child helps establish the consequences and understands that for each instance of bad behavior he receives an X on his chart.  The child will receive a few warning Xs before the consequences set in.

After using this system for my two older children and modifying their behavior, I stopped using the system for a while.  Now, my six year old son, is starting with whining and tantrums to try and get his way.  I pulled out the old system and I sat down with him to go over the rules and consequences.  When the whining starts, it is easy for me to remind him of the consequences and for him to see the chart and his progress.  Most whining sessions are easily nipped in the bud.

If you are struggling with behavior issues with any of your children, I would highly recommend Dr. Koenig’s Smart Discipline program.

In the United States, 16% of American children are obese. That is about 9 million children! Fighting childhood obesity can be done by following a few steps. The following video outline these steps. My suggestion is to take just one idea per month. I find that when I try to implement a plan all at once, it explodes and falls to the wayside. Instead, choose one step (or part of a step). For example, eliminate soda. Soda has zero nutritional value and gets add unwanted calories. Even diet soda is unhealthy. Do this one step for one month and then add another step. Before you know it, you will be eating healthier and feeling better!

Easy Ways to Stop Childhood Obesity

Technorati Tags: discipline kids

Since I have a nine year old, this age is very dear to my heart!  However, this is an age where sloppiness sets in.  Nine and ten year olds are usually not very neat with their clothes and will try and wear clothes from the hamper or off the floor.  Nine and ten year olds are into making plans and will often help out with family outings planning the littlest of details.

Unfortunately, it is at this age that children also learn that parents are not infallible.  They begin to see that everyone makes mistakes and question authority.  Girls will start to mature faster than boys and will not understand why the boys in their class at school are still “silly.”

Don’t let your child lose interest in school at this age.  Get them additional help if needed so that they do not feel left behind.

Children that are nine and ten should be able to:

• Mop floors
• Do own laundry (with instructions)
• Bake cakes and cookies
• Set goals and follow through
• Learn first aid
• Wash car
• Clean stove and oven
• Write letters and thank you notes
• Vacuum out car
• Plant a garden
• Hammer nails and saw wood
• Use e-mail
• Sew on buttons
• Follow a simple recipe
• Wrap presents
• Use a leaf blower
• Memorize poems or bible verses

If you have a relative that loves to cook and bake, let your son or daughter help them out.  We send our daughter and son over to their grandparents house on holidays and they learn how to make some of the old family recipes.

This is also an age when respect needs to be instilled and enforced.  If children do not respect parents and other adults at this age, the teenage years will be unbearable!

Technorati Tags: chore chart, chores, independent children