Back in October of last year, I posted about Safetytat.com and their tattoo products that help keep kids safe. I just received a packet of three Quick stick write-on tattoos that I am giving away! Simply visit my other blog, The Shopping Duck, and enter the contest there.
Safety Tat is a great product to help you keep your kids safe this summer!
My daughter just recently passed this stage, so it is an age near (and sometimes dear) to my heart. By thirteen, most young women have undergone a lot of physical changes including menstration and breast development. On the other hand, most young men are just beginning to go through puberty. Many thirteen and fourteen year old girls tend to realize that they are more mature than there male counterparts.
At these ages, independence is key. Although teens want to still be part of the family, they also want their own space. Their rooms become an important part of their lives as does friends and “hanging out.” While most kids this age want to be able to talk to their parents, they also do not like to be lectured to. I have found this part particularly difficult. We as adults, may want to completely talk out an issue. Teens, on the other hand, want to hear the bare minimum. Instead of a lecture, bring up the problem or issue in one or two sentences, ask for their opinion or explanation and then decide on any punishment if necessary. Let them know that they can talk to you about it anytime that they want, but don’t force them. It is absolutely necessary to have family rules already established by this age so that the teens now the consequences of their actions.
Don’t be afraid to set rules that teens may feel is interferring with their privacy. One rule we have in our house is that I know all the social media and email accounts that my daughter accesses and I know the passwords. I do routinely check up on her, but I don’t let her know unless I find something that would be harmful to her or others.
Talk in the car. Often when driving my teen to various events, I will bring up incidents in the news or from school that I think she should be aware of. A number of girls were caught recently giving oral sex to boys in the back of the bus. I didn’t lecture her about not doing it, but I mentioned the incident and how I thought it was inaproppriate. She agreed and the subject ended.
Do NOT let your teenager become disrespectful. This is something that has to be nipped in the bud. At our house, the children must respect both the parents and the other children. An older teenage child will sometimes act like the parent to younger children which only causes problems. This is a work in progress. I talk with my daughter at least twice a month about respecting others in the house. She does fine for a while and then those moody teen emotions get the best of her. If I don’t keep her on track, however, things can get totally out of control.
Thirteen and Fourteen Year Olds should be able to:
The dreaded tween years! These are the two years that I found that many issues can start and if you don’t get a handle on them, beware the teen years. Children at this age:
To help your child at this stage:
Children that are eleven and twelve should be able to:
Since I have a nine year old, this age is very dear to my heart! However, this is an age where sloppiness sets in. Nine and ten year olds are usually not very neat with their clothes and will try and wear clothes from the hamper or off the floor. Nine and ten year olds are into making plans and will often help out with family outings planning the littlest of details.
Unfortunately, it is at this age that children also learn that parents are not infallible. They begin to see that everyone makes mistakes and question authority. Girls will start to mature faster than boys and will not understand why the boys in their class at school are still “silly.”
Don’t let your child lose interest in school at this age. Get them additional help if needed so that they do not feel left behind.
Children that are nine and ten should be able to:
If you have a relative that loves to cook and bake, let your son or daughter help them out. We send our daughter and son over to their grandparents house on holidays and they learn how to make some of the old family recipes.
This is also an age when respect needs to be instilled and enforced. If children do not respect parents and other adults at this age, the teenage years will be unbearable!
Your seven and eight year old is well into academic learning and has been focused on school for a couple of years already. Hand-eye coordination is fully developed and she has good balance. Kids at this age can be quite self-critical and need boasts to their self-esteem. Unfortunately, you might find that your child can be quite a complainer at these ages. However, your child really starts to know the difference between right and wrong and is willing to take blame and correct mistakes. This is a time to be patient with ever changing emotions. Be sure to discuss peer pressure with your child at this stage.
Children that are seven and eight should be able to:
Take time to adjust your chore chart to include new responsibilities.
Have you ever lost track of your child in a store or amusement park? I have. The owners of SafetyTat have come up with a brilliant idea. One day, while at an amusement park, they decided to write their cell phone number on the arm of each of their three children and although their children did not get lost that day, it gave them piece of mind knowing that there would be a may to contact them if any of their children were lost.
Building on that idea, SafetyTat makes safety tattoos. These funs, temporary tattoos that can be applied to the arm of your child. There are different types of tattos including:
Original - These tattoos come with one line of customization. Choose a design and add your phone number. These tattoos require water to apply.
Write-On - These tattoos require no water to apply and are waterproof. They will last up to two weks. They are shipped blank and you can write in your phone number with a waterproof tattoo marking pen.
Allergy - Is your child allergic to peanuts? You can buy these tattoos that will let everyone know, just in case!
Special Needs - Do you have a child with a special need? SafetyTats has four different designs that could help your child if they were every lost or seperated from the group.
SafetyTat is also a great product for school trips, vacations and other outings.
Five and six year olds are finally out of the toddler stages and enjoy planning! They can also be real talkers and like to discuss what is going on around them. They are eager to learn, but can get frustrated if things don’t come easy enough. At this age, they usually prefer one to two friends at a time, instead of a large group. This is the age when they can be a bit bossy!
Since they are capable of doing a lot more at these ages, chores and responsibilities should change. Introduce them to money and let them save and spend. Have them save for a bigger purchase and it will give them a sense of accomplishment.
Children that are five and six should be able to:
Giving your five and six year old an allowance, with rules, can teach them financial responsibility. A good rule of thumb, is one dollar per week per year of age. A five year old would receive $5 per week. Have the child save part of the money, give some to charity and leave a little left over for spending. Here is how my child spilts up his allowance: $1.00 for college savings, $0.50 for charity, $2.50 for spending and then $1.00 to be saved for a big purchase. If he wants put more money towards the big purchase, he can take money out of spending money.
Try using a fun chore chart that rewards your child as well!
Photo by chefranden
Three and four year olds are usually independent by nature. They want to “do it” themselves even though they may not be able to finish the task. They may find it harder to transition at this stage and may need to be warned of changes before hand (we are going to the store in 5 minutes). They readily accept suggestions and can follow simple directions. They enjoy helping with chores and this is a good time to start a simple chore chart for them. When giving them a choice, let them choose between two things (i.e. you can wear the red or the blue shirt today).
Three and four year olds may become more picky at meal times. Decide how you best want to handle these situations. If you make a rule, such as, you must try at least two bites of everything, stick with it.
Children that are three and four should be able to:
As a parent, this is a good time to get in the practice of teaching your child these skills. As she gets older, you will add to the skills that you teach her.
Start a chore chart for your child at this age. Some responsibilities could include:
You can buy a chore chart, find a free printable one on the internet, or make a simple chart yourself.
NOTE: This is the second part in a seven part series. Previous posts include:
Will he grow up to be a fireman?
What is our responsibilities as parents? Certainly we must love, nurture and protect our children. However, we must also make sure that our children grow up to be responsible and responsible adults and this means teaching them the skills that they will need as they mature and grow.
In order to raise children that will be able to eventually live and thrive on their own, we must create a balance. Raising independent children does not mean an environment where there is too much freedom and not enough parental guidance. On the other hand, if you make all the choices for your children, they will never learn to be independent.
Here are a few tips for raising independent children:
Don’t Do Everything for Your Child
I know this is hard, very hard, however, as a parent, we need to teach our children and let them try it on their own. It may be faster for me to tie my son’s shoelaces every day, but if I never teach him how and then let him try, he will never be able to tie his laces. The same principle applies with chores. Children may take longer and not do as good a job as the parent, but they need the responsibility and the opportunity to learn the correct way.
Teach Your Child to Prioritize
When your child starts school, this is the perfect time to teach them to priortize. Help them make a list of what she needs to do each day. Help them schedule time for homework, chores and play time.
Teach Your Child Life Skills
Your child will need certain life skills in order to eventually be an independent adult. The last thing you want is for your 39 year old daughter or son stopping by each week for you to do the laundry! Following posts will focus on life skills that you can teach your child each year as they grow.
Teach Them About Money
Discuss with younger children the cost of different items including food and toys. Older children should be taught how to manage money. When they are old enough, give them a budget for clothing or other necessities and make them stick to it. Teach them the concept of saving and giving.
This post is the first post in a nine part series:
Part 1 - Tips for Raising Indpendent Children
Part 2 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 3 and 4 Year Olds
Part 3 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 5 and 6 Year Olds
Part 4 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 7 and 8 Year Olds
Part 5 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 9 and 10 Year Olds
Part 6 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 11 and 12 Year Olds
Part 7 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 13 and 14 Year Olds
Part 8 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 16 through 18 Year Olds
Part 9 - Raising Independent Children - Conclusions
Another article in the series will be posted each week. Don’t miss a single one - Have the articles emailed to you!
Dr. Larry Koenig developed this parenting system of positive reenforcement. Using The Smart Discipline System you will banish the top 7 misbehaviors that plague parents the most:
* Disrespectful language—both verbal and non-verbal
* Fighting and bickering
* Morning and bedtime hassles
* Homework Hassles
* Interrupting
* Procrastination
* Messy Rooms
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