Discipline How To Blog

I received the following question from a reader:

HELP! My almost 10 yr. old daughter has been getting worse and worse with her blatant disrespect towards me. I know that she continues to say and do the things she does, because I don’t know how to handle it. In the past hour these are the things she has said to me…1. You’re just so stupid! 2. Your face is ugly! 3. I hate you! 4. Stupid! 5. You’re the dumbest person ever! What do I do? Do I resort to physically trying to force vinegar in her mouth (as some have suggested)? I usually try to just tell her that it is wrong for her to talk to me like that, and then walk away. But it is only getting worse.  I also have two boys, one is 7 and one is 4, and they are starting to model her language. I often feel extremely “stepped on” and “deflated,” especially by my 10 yr old, because this has been going on for a long time, and no matter what we do, it just gets worse. There are times that it hurts my heart so badly that I feel like I know what it’s like to be emotionally abused on a daily basis.

Many of us have felt this way!  Don’t get discouraged, instead you need to set some rules for your children and breaking these rules some with consequences.

A few years ago, both my older and middle children were becoming a handful.  I had specific rules in my mind, but I did not communicate them well to my children.  I didn’t write them down and the consequences were always random and did not exist.  This was NOT working.  Then I was invited to a seminar at the local elementary school.  The program was called Smart Discipline by Dr. Larry Koenig.  This system changed the way that I disciplined my children.

This system teaches you, as a parent, to talk to your children about expectations, establish rules and formulate consequences.  The key to the program is follow through.  If you are willing to take a stand to diminish bad behavior, this system works!

In a nutshell, the Smart Discipline program uses a simple chart system.  The program suggests, and I have found this to be true, that you need to choose one or two behaviors to focus on at a time.  Trying to solve every problem at once may not work.  The child helps establish the consequences and understands that for each instance of bad behavior he receives an X on his chart.  The child will receive a few warning Xs before the consequences set in.

After using this system for my two older children and modifying their behavior, I stopped using the system for a while.  Now, my six year old son, is starting with whining and tantrums to try and get his way.  I pulled out the old system and I sat down with him to go over the rules and consequences.  When the whining starts, it is easy for me to remind him of the consequences and for him to see the chart and his progress.  Most whining sessions are easily nipped in the bud.

If you are struggling with behavior issues with any of your children, I would highly recommend Dr. Koenig’s Smart Discipline program.

I was often frustrated when trying to potty train my son. At first he was interested in trying to use the potty, but when he became an inconvience for him and interfered with his play time, he decided he wanted nothing to do with it. I finally came upon a reward solution that worked for him, however, what works for one child does not always work for another.

I recently heard about two new potty training methods that are getting great reviews. Here is my take on the two methods.

Potty Training Boot Camp

Potty Training Boot Camp was developed by Suzanne Riffel, a mom who, like many of us, spent hours trying to come up with the best potty training method for her children. After trying many different methods, Suzanne combined a few training ideas and tried it on her 20 month old daughter. The method worked! Suzanne has written a step-by-step method called The Potty Training Boot Camp.

This method involved four phases: Prep Work, Boot Camp, Reinforcement and Maintenance. The Potty Boot Camp works on children 18 months or older and completes 90% of training in just a couple of days. You can download The Potty Training ebook from Suzanne’s site and the price is very resonable - $5.95. Of course, if you want a real copy of the book, you can buy it at Amazon.com for $10.75.

Potty Training Made Easy with the Baby Signs Program

Dr. Linda Acredolo and Susan Goodwyn are the brains behind the Baby Signs programs. In 1982, they discovered that babies between 10 and 24 months could use simple signs to represent words they could not say. The Baby Signs Program was developed and showed parents how to teach their children simple signs to communicate.

After doing some research, Linda and Susan realized that in the 1950s, 92% of children were potty trained before the age of two. Now, most children are potty trained between two and three. Linda and Susan have developed a Potty Training program using Baby Signs that can be started before your child turns two.

The Baby Signs Potty Training Program shows you how to communicate with your child before she can talk. The kit comes with an All Aboard the Potty Train DVD, All Aboard Potty Train Lift-the-Flap Book, Job Well Done! Stickers and All Aboard the Potty Train Conductor’s Whistle.

If you are intersted in potty training your child early, this program may be the one for you.

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