Raising Independent Children - Three and Four Year Olds
independent children August 9th, 2010
Photo by chefranden
Three and four year olds are usually independent by nature. They want to “do it” themselves even though they may not be able to finish the task. They may find it harder to transition at this stage and may need to be warned of changes before hand (we are going to the store in 5 minutes). They readily accept suggestions and can follow simple directions. They enjoy helping with chores and this is a good time to start a simple chore chart for them. When giving them a choice, let them choose between two things (i.e. you can wear the red or the blue shirt today).
Three and four year olds may become more picky at meal times. Decide how you best want to handle these situations. If you make a rule, such as, you must try at least two bites of everything, stick with it.
Children that are three and four should be able to:
- Dress
- Use potty by themselves
- Learn to brush teeth (but may need some help still)
- Pick up toys
- Say prayers with help
- Make bed by straightening covers
- Make a simple breakfast (cereal and milk, toast)
- Make a simple sandwich
- Put belongings away in room
As a parent, this is a good time to get in the practice of teaching your child these skills. As she gets older, you will add to the skills that you teach her.
Start a chore chart for your child at this age. Some responsibilities could include:
- Help make the bed
- Pick up toys and books
- Put dirty laundry in laundry basket
- Help feed pets
- Clean up spills
- Dust
You can buy a chore chart, find a free printable one on the internet, or make a simple chart yourself.
NOTE: This is the second part in a seven part series. Previous posts include:

March 2nd, 2009 at 11:22 pm
my 3 yr old granddaughter stole a toy from the store and her mother spanked her; tell me what your suggestion is.
November 1st, 2010 at 6:51 pm
At that age the best way is to take her back to the store and have her give it back and apologize. Then she is not too young to do chores to earn the price of what she took.
Under no circumstances should she be allowed to keep the toy. I can’t see that spanking teaches anything except violence.