Tips for Raising Independent Children
independent children September 29th, 2008
Will he grow up to be a fireman?
What is our responsibilities as parents? Certainly we must love, nurture and protect our children. However, we must also make sure that our children grow up to be responsible and responsible adults and this means teaching them the skills that they will need as they mature and grow.
In order to raise children that will be able to eventually live and thrive on their own, we must create a balance. Raising independent children does not mean an environment where there is too much freedom and not enough parental guidance. On the other hand, if you make all the choices for your children, they will never learn to be independent.
Here are a few tips for raising independent children:
Don’t Do Everything for Your Child
I know this is hard, very hard, however, as a parent, we need to teach our children and let them try it on their own. It may be faster for me to tie my son’s shoelaces every day, but if I never teach him how and then let him try, he will never be able to tie his laces. The same principle applies with chores. Children may take longer and not do as good a job as the parent, but they need the responsibility and the opportunity to learn the correct way.
Teach Your Child to Prioritize
When your child starts school, this is the perfect time to teach them to priortize. Help them make a list of what she needs to do each day. Help them schedule time for homework, chores and play time.
Teach Your Child Life Skills
Your child will need certain life skills in order to eventually be an independent adult. The last thing you want is for your 39 year old daughter or son stopping by each week for you to do the laundry! Following posts will focus on life skills that you can teach your child each year as they grow.
Teach Them About Money
Discuss with younger children the cost of different items including food and toys. Older children should be taught how to manage money. When they are old enough, give them a budget for clothing or other necessities and make them stick to it. Teach them the concept of saving and giving.
This post is the first post in a nine part series:
Part 1 - Tips for Raising Indpendent Children
Part 2 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 3 and 4 Year Olds
Part 3 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 5 and 6 Year Olds
Part 4 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 7 and 8 Year Olds
Part 5 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 9 and 10 Year Olds
Part 6 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 11 and 12 Year Olds
Part 7 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 13 and 14 Year Olds
Part 8 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 16 through 18 Year Olds
Part 9 - Raising Independent Children - Conclusions
Another article in the series will be posted each week. Don’t miss a single one - Have the articles emailed to you!


October 1st, 2008 at 11:23 am
Teaching children the skill of personal responsibility, alleviates many of the problems of future entitlement.
Write On!
October 1st, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Thanks for the tips! These are good guidelines for parents. I especially like “Don’t Do Everything for Your Child”.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Becoming self sufficient in today’s world is a must. Children who are independent are a jewel in the crown of each parent who successfully helps to make them that way.
October 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
All very good tips.
I have 3 children and have raised them exactly the same way. All 3 are amazingly different from each other - in school, in life skills, in independence.
Love and acceptance of the diferences of your children is critical for their self-esteem.
April 6th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Why do you stop at 18? For many parents, the years from 18-25 are critical.
One of the toughest exercises my wife and oldest daughter ever did was to sit down and develop a budget for her graduate school days together.