Discipline How To Blog

Since I have a nine year old, this age is very dear to my heart!  However, this is an age where sloppiness sets in.  Nine and ten year olds are usually not very neat with their clothes and will try and wear clothes from the hamper or off the floor.  Nine and ten year olds are into making plans and will often help out with family outings planning the littlest of details.

Unfortunately, it is at this age that children also learn that parents are not infallible.  They begin to see that everyone makes mistakes and question authority.  Girls will start to mature faster than boys and will not understand why the boys in their class at school are still “silly.”

Don’t let your child lose interest in school at this age.  Get them additional help if needed so that they do not feel left behind.

Children that are nine and ten should be able to:

• Mop floors
• Do own laundry (with instructions)
• Bake cakes and cookies
• Set goals and follow through
• Learn first aid
• Wash car
• Clean stove and oven
• Write letters and thank you notes
• Vacuum out car
• Plant a garden
• Hammer nails and saw wood
• Use e-mail
• Sew on buttons
• Follow a simple recipe
• Wrap presents
• Use a leaf blower
• Memorize poems or bible verses

If you have a relative that loves to cook and bake, let your son or daughter help them out.  We send our daughter and son over to their grandparents house on holidays and they learn how to make some of the old family recipes.

This is also an age when respect needs to be instilled and enforced.  If children do not respect parents and other adults at this age, the teenage years will be unbearable!

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Your seven and eight year old is well into academic learning and has been focused on school for a couple of years already.  Hand-eye coordination is fully developed and she has good balance.  Kids at this age can be quite self-critical and need boasts to their self-esteem.  Unfortunately, you might find that your child can be quite a complainer at these ages.  However, your child really starts to know the difference between right and wrong and is willing to take blame and correct mistakes.  This is a time to be patient with ever changing emotions.  Be sure to discuss peer pressure with your child at this stage.

Children that are seven and eight should be able to:

• Wash/Dry Dishes
• Floss Teeth
• Clean toilets
• Pull weeds
• Take care of nails and hair
• Use an alarm clock
• Be interested in Team Sports
• Start to know own interests (music, sports, drama, etc.)
• Clean mirrors
• Care for pet
• Know Address and Phone number

Take time to adjust your chore chart to include new responsibilities.

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Five and six year olds are finally out of the toddler stages and enjoy planning!  They can also be real talkers and like to discuss what is going on around them.  They are eager to learn, but can get frustrated if things don’t come easy enough.  At this age, they usually prefer one to two friends at a time, instead of a large group.  This is the age when they can be a bit bossy!

Since they are capable of doing a lot more at these ages, chores and responsibilities should change.  Introduce them to money and let them save and spend.  Have them save for a bigger purchase and it will give them a sense of accomplishment.

Children that are five and six should be able to:

• Clean/Straighten their own room
• Take a Shower (teach them how to wash their body and hair)
• Vacuum small areas
• Dust
• Empty garbage cans (with a little help)
• Set and Clear the Table
• Help make their own lunch
• Help load and empty dishwasher
• Clean sinks
• Know how to use a microwave
• Water plants
• Learn how to use the phone

Giving your five and six year old an allowance, with rules, can teach them financial responsibility.  A good rule of thumb, is one dollar per week per year of age.  A five year old would receive $5 per week.  Have the child save part of the money, give some to charity and leave a little left over for spending.  Here is how my child spilts up his allowance: $1.00 for college savings, $0.50 for charity, $2.50 for spending and then $1.00 to be saved for a big purchase.  If he wants put more money towards the big purchase, he can take money out of spending money.

Try using a fun chore chart that rewards your child as well!

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Photo by chefranden

Three and four year olds are usually independent by nature. They want to “do it” themselves even though they may not be able to finish the task. They may find it harder to transition at this stage and may need to be warned of changes before hand (we are going to the store in 5 minutes). They readily accept suggestions and can follow simple directions. They enjoy helping with chores and this is a good time to start a simple chore chart for them. When giving them a choice, let them choose between two things (i.e. you can wear the red or the blue shirt today).

Three and four year olds may become more picky at meal times. Decide how you best want to handle these situations. If you make a rule, such as, you must try at least two bites of everything, stick with it.

Children that are three and four should be able to:

• Dress
• Use potty by themselves
• Learn to brush teeth (but may need some help still)
• Pick up toys
• Say prayers with help
• Make bed by straightening covers
• Make a simple breakfast (cereal and milk, toast)
• Make a simple sandwich
• Put belongings away in room

As a parent, this is a good time to get in the practice of teaching your child these skills. As she gets older, you will add to the skills that you teach her.

Start a chore chart for your child at this age. Some responsibilities could include:

• Help make the bed
• Pick up toys and books
• Put dirty laundry in laundry basket
• Help feed pets
• Clean up spills
• Dust

You can buy a chore chart, find a free printable one on the internet, or make a simple chart yourself.

NOTE: This is the second part in a seven part series. Previous posts include:

Tips for Raising Independent Children

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Will he grow up to be a fireman?

What is our responsibilities as parents? Certainly we must love, nurture and protect our children. However, we must also make sure that our children grow up to be responsible and responsible adults and this means teaching them the skills that they will need as they mature and grow.

In order to raise children that will be able to eventually live and thrive on their own, we must create a balance. Raising independent children does not mean an environment where there is too much freedom and not enough parental guidance. On the other hand, if you make all the choices for your children, they will never learn to be independent.

Here are a few tips for raising independent children:

Don’t Do Everything for Your Child

I know this is hard, very hard, however, as a parent, we need to teach our children and let them try it on their own. It may be faster for me to tie my son’s shoelaces every day, but if I never teach him how and then let him try, he will never be able to tie his laces. The same principle applies with chores. Children may take longer and not do as good a job as the parent, but they need the responsibility and the opportunity to learn the correct way.

Teach Your Child to Prioritize

When your child starts school, this is the perfect time to teach them to priortize. Help them make a list of what she needs to do each day. Help them schedule time for homework, chores and play time.

Teach Your Child Life Skills

Your child will need certain life skills in order to eventually be an independent adult. The last thing you want is for your 39 year old daughter or son stopping by each week for you to do the laundry! Following posts will focus on life skills that you can teach your child each year as they grow.

Teach Them About Money

Discuss with younger children the cost of different items including food and toys. Older children should be taught how to manage money. When they are old enough, give them a budget for clothing or other necessities and make them stick to it. Teach them the concept of saving and giving.

This post is the first post in a nine part series:

Part 1 - Tips for Raising Indpendent Children
Part 2 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 3 and 4 Year Olds
Part 3 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 5 and 6 Year Olds
Part 4 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 7 and 8 Year Olds
Part 5 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 9 and 10 Year Olds
Part 6 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 11 and 12 Year Olds
Part 7 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 13 and 14 Year Olds
Part 8 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 16 through 18 Year Olds
Part 9 - Raising Independent Children - Conclusions

Another article in the series will be posted each week. Don’t miss a single one - Have the articles emailed to you!

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Back in October of last year, I posted about Safetytat.com and their tattoo products that help keep kids safe.  I just received a packet of three Quick stick write-on tattoos that I am giving away!  Simply visit my other blog, The Shopping Duck, and enter the contest there.

Safety Tat is a great product to help you keep your kids safe this summer!

In the United States, 16% of American children are obese. That is about 9 million children! Fighting childhood obesity can be done by following a few steps. The following video outline these steps. My suggestion is to take just one idea per month. I find that when I try to implement a plan all at once, it explodes and falls to the wayside. Instead, choose one step (or part of a step). For example, eliminate soda. Soda has zero nutritional value and gets add unwanted calories. Even diet soda is unhealthy. Do this one step for one month and then add another step. Before you know it, you will be eating healthier and feeling better!

Easy Ways to Stop Childhood Obesity

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I received the following question:

“What do you advise to help train my celebral palsy 20 month old who can’t verbalize but gets our attention by yelling.”

First, screaming and yelling is a common attribute of two year olds with or without a disability. Two year olds find it easy to scream and yell to get attention and it usually works. After awhile, parents usually become irratated with the screaming and do not know who to put a stop to it. Here are some tips for encouraging more positive behavior.

• If your child can not verbalize yet, teach him a sign or other sound that he can use to get your attention. When he uses this sound or sign, respond immediately. When he screams ignore him (I know this is hard to do!).
• Two year old are very smart and realize when a behavior is effective. Encourage good behavior and ignore bad behavior at this stage.
• If the screaming evolves into a tantrum, let them know that you love them and when they are done screaming that you will give them a hug and then move away a few steps.
• If the tantrum or screaming occurs in a situation where the child needs to be removed. Remove the child (to the car for example) and continue to ignore the behavior, letting them know that when they are finished they will be able to go back to the activity.
• Try not to yell back. This only reinforces the behavior in the child.

I hope these tips are helpful!

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I have noticed that when I am not organized, I do not follow through on discipline and reward plans. One of my goals for 2009 is to get better organized. To start, I am going to sign up for a live teleseminar:

How To Get Organized In 2009 - Your Questions Answered

The seminar is offered by Cara Mirabella of the Household Helper. Cara is a home and family management coach and has authored numerous e-books to help families.

The teleseminar is Tuesday, December 20th at 9:00pm EST and the cost is only $1! Included with the teleseminar is:

1. 45-minute seminar answering your questions
2. 45-minute open Q&A/discussion
3. Recording of the teleseminar (MP3 file)
4. Transcribed notes of the teleseminar
5. A resource sheet and check list to help you get started
6. My new special report The Household Helper’s Quick Start Guide To Getting Organized In The New Year

This is a great way to start getting organized at your house. Sign up now!

This time of the year can be a fun and happy time, but it can also be an annoying time.  When my children realize that Christmas is getting close, they start talking about nothing else than what they want on their Christmas Lists.  Unfortunately for them, we are not millionaires and they do not get anything that they want.  Here are some ways that I control Christmas Spending and bring the true spirit of Christmas into our homes.

• Decorating - pick a day to decorate your home for the season.  I take time putting the nativity scenes in a special place and talking about Christmas.  Play Christmas music and have a special treat.
• Make a Budget - I make a secret list on my computer for each child where I write down what I have bought for them and the cost.  This helps me keep within my budget.
• Make Lists - I have each child write down what they want and then I review it with them.  Toys or items that are very expensive or inappropriate are taken off the list.  My children understand that there are items that we just can’t afford.
• Charity - Have your kids buy a toy for Toys for Tots or another charity.  Explain to them that there are children who will receive nothing this year.  At the Elementary School they have a “Giving Tree” which I encourage the children to participate in.  They pick a tag from the tree and buy a toy for a child in need.
• Pick Names - If you have a large extended family, make a new tradition, pick names instead of giving to everyone.  We do this with my siblings and my husband’s siblings as well.
• Make Traditions - Every year we get tickets to a play at the State Theater (and the tickets are only $6 each).  This is a fun holiday tradition for our family.  We also open on gift each on Christmas Eve.  I let them open the gift I choose, which is always pajamas!  They have something new and cozy to wear for Christmas Morning.

The Christmas Season can be hectic but enjoyable!

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