Managing Clothing Purchases for Teens and Tweens

teen discipline 3 Comments »

I have two daughters, ages 9 and 14.  It is not too hard to guess that they like to shop for clothing!  Before I knew what was happening, their closets and drawers will filled with clothing that they seldom wore.  I started establishing some rules for clothing purchases and here is the process we follow at our house.

One in, Two Out

For every one item of clothing brought into the house (purchased or a gift), the girls must get rid of two similar pieces of clothing that they own.  I have started with the one for two option since they have too many clothes right now.  When their are less clothes in their room, I will change the rule to one in, one out.

The Budget

Each girl is given a budget for purchases every six months.  The first “payment” is in August in time for back to school shopping and the next payment is in February.  We determine ahead of time what amount each child should get and these amounts are not always the same.  For example, my older daughter is required to purchase certain items of clothing for soccer and this amount is included in the budget.

Clothing, Shoes and Accessories

The budget money is only to be spent on clothing, shoes and accessories (such as bags and belts).  I do not allow them to purchase food, video games, movie tickets and the like with this money.  I purchase school supplies for them and this does not come out of their budget.

Keep Track

I give each of my girls a notebook for them to keep track of their purchases.  They must staple the receipt and keep a running total.  I review it with them every two weeks or so.

Exclude Certain Purchases

Some clothing purchases are excluded from the budget.  Prom dresses and dresses or outfits for events they are required to attend (family wedding, anniversaries, etc.) are excluded.  However, they are required to purchase clothing from their budget money for friends parties.

Discuss Appropriate Purchases

Before you allow your teen or tween to start purchasing, go over with them what is appropriate.  At our house, halter tops and belly shirts are on the inappropriate list (as well as other items).  If they make a purchase you don’t approve of, make them take it back.  Of course, if you just don’t like the color, you might have to live with it!

It’s Your Money

When we are out shopping, and my girls want to make a purchase (that is appropriate), I tell them “It’s Your Money.”  My older daughter has learned that spending $25 on one t-shirt is not economical.  She can get two or three t-shirts for the same price at a discount store or on sale at a department store.

If I am shopping with my girls I pay for the purchases and then have them write it in their notebooks.  If my older daughter goes to the store with friends, I will give her a small amount and have her return all the change and bring back the receipts.  Money for food comes out of her chore money.

Don’t Give In

Some kids will want to spend the whole budget at one shot.  Don’t give in, if they can not purchase anything until the next budget period.  They will better understand how to manage money if you don’t step in when they make mistakes.

My goal as a parent is to raise children into responsible adults.  Giving them every thing they could possibly want, does not make them responsible.  My daughters have learned that they have to make wise purchases if they want to make their money last for six months.

Technorati Tags: , , , , ,

Tips for Raising Independent Children

independent children 6 Comments »

Will he grow up to be a fireman?

What is our responsibilities as parents? Certainly we must love, nurture and protect our children. However, we must also make sure that our children grow up to be responsible and responsible adults and this means teaching them the skills that they will need as they mature and grow.

In order to raise children that will be able to eventually live and thrive on their own, we must create a balance. Raising independent children does not mean an environment where there is too much freedom and not enough parental guidance. On the other hand, if you make all the choices for your children, they will never learn to be independent.

Here are a few tips for raising independent children:

Don’t Do Everything for Your Child

I know this is hard, very hard, however, as a parent, we need to teach our children and let them try it on their own. It may be faster for me to tie my son’s shoelaces every day, but if I never teach him how and then let him try, he will never be able to tie his laces. The same principle applies with chores. Children may take longer and not do as good a job as the parent, but they need the responsibility and the opportunity to learn the correct way.

Teach Your Child to Prioritize

When your child starts school, this is the perfect time to teach them to priortize. Help them make a list of what she needs to do each day. Help them schedule time for homework, chores and play time.

Teach Your Child Life Skills

Your child will need certain life skills in order to eventually be an independent adult. The last thing you want is for your 39 year old daughter or son stopping by each week for you to do the laundry! Following posts will focus on life skills that you can teach your child each year as they grow.

Teach Them About Money

Discuss with younger children the cost of different items including food and toys. Older children should be taught how to manage money. When they are old enough, give them a budget for clothing or other necessities and make them stick to it. Teach them the concept of saving and giving.

This post is the first post in a nine part series:

Part 1 - Tips for Raising Indpendent Children
Part 2 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 3 and 4 Year Olds
Part 3 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 5 and 6 Year Olds
Part 4 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 7 and 8 Year Olds
Part 5 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 9 and 10 Year Olds
Part 6 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 11 and 12 Year Olds
Part 7 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 13 and 14 Year Olds
Part 8 - Raising Independent Children - Skills for 16 through 18 Year Olds
Part 9 - Raising Independent Children - Conclusions

Another article in the series will be posted each week. Don’t miss a single one - Have the articles emailed to you!

Technorati Tags: , ,

Online Gaming - Can Your Child Be Addicted?

discipline how to 3 Comments »

  You may have heard a lot about Role Playing Games (RPGs) such as World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, and even Toontown.  The games are also referred to as Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs).  Hundreds or even thousands of participants can play at one time.  These games not only appeal to children and teens but to adults as well.  Unfortunately, some parents have found that their children are spending more time involved in playing RPGs than in doing anything else.

Why are these games different than other video games?  For one, MMORPGs offer chat features that allow you to interact with other players all over the world.  Second, the games also allow you to form teams or gang up on other players.  These features often make it difficult to step away from the computer for even one minute for fear that you may let down your other “team members.”  Plus, online gaming can also expose children to inappropriate content, language and behavior.

Many parents are growing concerned about addictions to online gaming.  While all children may not become addicted, there is the chance that your child may.  A sign that your child is addicted to online gaming is the need to play the game for more than four hours per day, irritable when they can’t play and forego other social activites to play the game.

What can you do as a parent to ensure that your child does not become addicted to online gaming and is in a safe playing environment?

Safe Playing List - Some games feature a block feature which allows interaction only between an approved buddy list.

Turn off Chat - If the game has a chat feature it can usually be disabled.

Know the Games - Find out which games your child wants to play and know their ratings.  Unfortunately, there are always “cheats” that allow players to modify their characters which may make them inappropriate.

Limit Time - Limit the time that your child can play online games.  Offer rewards of playing minutes for completed chores, extra help around the house, or good behavior at home or in school.  Online gaming (or even video games) should be the last thing your child has access to.  Homework, chores, sports or other activies should be completed first.

Be Firm - If your child knows how to use the computer, they can “Google” hundreds of articles about how online gaming does not cause an addiction.  I know, I have read through many of them.  Set the rules and don’t stray from them.

Throw it Away - When all else fails, throw the game away, or lock up the computer.  If the computer is needed for school work, try and spend time with the child when they are working on the computer.

I know of several ADULTS that are addicted to online gaming.  While they have not got to the point of quiting their jobs, almost all of their free time is spent playing online games.  Relationships with spouses and friends have suffered.  Their conversations are only about what happened in the “game” and their lives, apart from work, are based on a fantasy that does not exist.

Take time today to take to your child about online gaming.  If you have young children, make a plan before your child is introduced to online gaming.

Technorati Tags: , ,

Television Outlawed for Babies in France

discipline how to 1 Comment »

The French authorites have come to the conculsion that televsion is bad for children.  The government is banning a new television channel “BabyFirstTV” produced by News Corp from airing.  The channel is geared to children under three, however, experts have recently stated that excessive television viewing can retard normal development.  The television channel is airing in the United States and usually runs about $4.99 per month.  The producers claim that the channel should be watched by parents and children together.

According to studies, children watch about 1,680 minutes of television per week.  An American youth spends about 900 hours in school each year and 1500 hours watching television (I wonder when they do homework).  By the time a child is 18 years old, they have seen 200,000 acts of violence on televsion. 

I have often used the televsion to “babysit” my own children and I have found the more they watch televsion the more crabby, disrepectful and disobedient they become.  I try to keep them busy with other activities including sports, dance and music.  Every child should also be assigned some household chores to complete daily.  Plus, reading should be done on a daily basis.  Unfortunately, many parents find it easier to have their children watch television then to actual make sure that they are raising children to be responsible adults.

Technorati Tags: ,


Theme by Theme by Ravish

by /
Copyright © 2007 Discipline How To Blog. All rights reserved.