There are days at my house when my three children are constantly arguing. It becomes so frustrating, that eventually I just tell them to solve their own problems. Is this really helping the situation? Probably not!
Sibling fighting can actually be a sign of lack of disciplinary control at home, according to Dr. James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family. When children feel that there is no justice or punishment of the wrongdoer tensions can escalate. Older (and bigger) children find it easy to tease and bully younger children. However, younger children can strike back in their own ways.
When fighting among siblings is ignored, the fighting will continue to escalte. Often older children get disciplined while the younger children are constantly “getting away with it.”
Dr. Dobson offered six rules from his own family that can help limit sibling rivalry:
- Children can not make fun of each other in a destructive way. No exceptions.
- Each child should have their own private space. It may be their own room or section of the room. Other children are not allowed to enter without permission and must respect the others’ space.
- Older children are not permitted to tease younger children.
- The younger children can not harass or tease the older children.
- Children should not be required to play with each other when they need alone time or time with friends.
- Parents should mediate any conflict as quickly as possible. Try to show impartiality!
If you want to initiate these rules with your children, make sure that you discuss the rules and the consequences first. This allows children to understand why and when they will be disciplined.
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